


Only Time

by AshesStarsAndRedStringsOfFate



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Dee is a good noodle, Don't copy to another site, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Remy is trying his best, Sympathetic Deceit Week, The Author Has Strong Opinions And It Shows, Twin Logince, evil author, paternal moxiety, references to other fandoms - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-22 21:50:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18536152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshesStarsAndRedStringsOfFate/pseuds/AshesStarsAndRedStringsOfFate
Summary: They used to spend almost every moment of their lives together. Everything changes once high school hits, and Roman begins to realize that his actions have consequences.This is my half of an art/writing trade with the wonderful Wren (dailypattondoodle on Tumblr). Enjoy the angst :)





	1. Who Can Say Where The Road Goes

**Author's Note:**

> In which the Author Is Mean To Logan (Again), Roman is Oblivious, and Virgil Needs Cooking Lessons

Logan and Roman Everhart had always been non-normal children. They were an adopted set of identical twins, something very unheard of by most. Their adopted fathers were always quick to defend the legitimacy of their claim to parenthood, however, with Roman and Logan none the wiser. The twins also never quite seemed to act their age. Roman began to recite Shakespearean sonnets at 8 without being in an acting company. Logan was reading high-school level chemistry textbooks at age 10 and actually _understanding_ them. Roman was fluent in at least 3 languages including English by the age of 11, and Logan could translate texts in at least 5 by the same age. Their fathers were extremely proud of their children (although baffled over how they learned these things that quickly) and encouraged their interests as individuals.

 

At the same time, however, both were still just average children. Roman enjoyed going to movies and playing outside and doing sports while also joining a Shakespeare youth company and a choir outside of school. Logan found a STEM group outside of school and joined that while also enjoying reading in his spot on the windowsill in the living room. Both boys had their differences, both from each other and from other children, of course, but first and foremost, they were brothers. They did everything together as children, from watching new shows and movies to starting new books and even trying to cook together. In other words, they were siblings. Yes, they fought, and had their differences, but at the end of the day, they were each other’s best friend. The two of them were always there for each other. Well… until high school, that is.

 

The first day of high school, Roman met the other theatre kids and was instantly enamoured by them. They understood him perfectly. They supported and participated in his dramatics. They didn’t laugh when he began to geek out over the latest Disney news or the latest Broadway musical or the newest episode of a cartoon show that he really should have stopped watching years ago when he got “too old for it”. They were there with him, just as passionate about the same things. Oh, sure, they all had their differences, and drama, but overall, Roman knew that he had found a new family in this small group of social outcasts in the theatre department at his new high school.

 

Logan, however? Logan struggled. Not only was he seen as a freak for his selective mutism (and yes, it was selective, he had a hard enough time talking normally so it wasn’t much of a stretch to only communicate in sign), his uncommon interests pushed him even further away from his peers. While he made a couple of friends, mostly fellow science fans, they had lives and responsibilities away from him and their group, and, as all of them were introverts, they tended to not meet up outside of school very often. As such, Logan was extremely lonely without Roman. But this was fine, he told himself. Roman was a social person by nature. He needed people to talk to that weren’t his brother. Logan had no reason to be upset, right?

* * *

 

“And then he just started bawling! I mean, it’s understandable, that spider was far too large for any five year old to handle, but I think that’s the most emotion he’s ever shown in his life!” Roman finished, head thrown back from the force of his laughter. The rest of his friends giggled a bit as well, all too used to hearing about the adventures of Young Logan and Roman.

 

“Roman, you’re so mean to your brother!” Mabel giggled, tossing her long brown hair over her shoulders. Her brown eyes twinkled with mirth as she almost dropped her fork into her pasta. Roman snorted and rolled his eyes, far too used to Mabel’s clumsiness.

 

“Mabel, you have no room to talk,” he shot back, grinning. “I seem to recall you telling us stories about being an absolute menace to your brother one summer when you were 12?” The other six people at the table laughed and oohed along with Mabel and Roman like the immature freshmen that they were. People at nearby tables shot them looks but did not speak up, ultimately succumbing to the apathy high school filled you with and returning to their regularly scheduled lunches. Nonetheless, their table did quiet down, not wanting to cause a fight to break out in the crowded lunchroom.

 

“Hey, speaking of brothers, I haven’t seen yours in a while, Roman,” Shiloh mentioned, instantly dampening the mood of the conversation. While Logan was liked by all at the table, more than one person had a complicated relationship with him, whether it be from classes or indirect experience through another person. Roman blinked in shock at Shiloh’s statement, mind whirling. He had just spoken to Logan an hour ago, hadn’t he? Outside of Logan’s Honors English classroom? And hadn’t his friends been with him? No, they had not, he concluded as the memories solidified. He had talked to Logan alone.

 

“He’s been busy with classes. He’s in all honors, remember, and he has a lot of activities to do outside of school,” Roman answered, voice even and unconcerned. Why should he be concerned, after all? This was normal behaviour for Logan, who did not like to talk to most people that were not in his immediate circle of Trusted Humans. Plus, these were not Logan’s friends. Acquaintances, yes, but not friends. Logan had his own friends, a couple of fellow sciencey introverts who did not mind Logan’s methods of communication. Why should Roman be concerned, then, that his friends had not seen Logan for a bit?

 

“Yeah, true. I dunno, though, he used to stop by at least once a lunch period. He hasn’t done that for at least two weeks,” Shiloh continued, chewing his bottom lip. Dani murmured in quiet agreement and shoved the rest of her sandwich in her mouth, and Mabel sighed, eyes flickering with melancholy. None of them would admit it, but they missed Logan’s visits, if only to see his adorable banter with his twin.

 

“He’s probably just busy, okay guys? Nothing’s wrong,” Roman huffed, stabbing violently into his pasta. “Why are you worried, anyway? He’d tell me if something is wrong.”

  
  
Dani and Shiloh looked at each other across the table, silently communicating with eyebrow raises and glances. Clearly, Roman wasn’t paying attention to his sibling. Should they tell him, or let him figure this out on his own?

 

The bell to signal the end of lunch interrupted their decision making, and the group all stood to scatter to their afternoon classes, groaning the entire time. Roman hiked up his backpack and stalked off to algebra, slipping into his seat just before the late bell rang. Logan was fine, he knew. His friends had no reason to make such a big deal over this. Right?

* * *

 

Logan choked back his tears as he checked his phone for the fifth time in the last minute or so. Roman wasn’t coming, it was clear. This was far from the first time Roman had skipped their meetings, and it was very unlikely to be the last. He had a life, and friends, and better things to do with his time than spend time with his stupid nerdy brother who was still far too clingy at age 14. _Five more minutes_ , he thought, _I’ll give him five more minutes_. He was already five minutes late, Logan knew, but he was not quite willing to accept that fact yet. He was not ready to admit that his brother was abandoning him.

 

Five minutes passed and Roman was nowhere to be found, as was normal lately. Logan sighed and began to walk towards his next class half an hour early as usual, ignoring the pangs and tearing in his chest. He should be fine, he couldn’t possibly expect Roman to spend every moment with him, he should be happy for his brother and his new friends. Logan knew that change was natural in high school, yet he somehow still felt awful over it. He should have made more of an effort in his younger years to talk to people other than Roman. Maybe then he’d know how to deal with this.

 

“Logan? You’re here early again. Is something wrong?” his Trig Honours teacher asked, concern dripping from her voice. Logan swallowed down his feelings, shifted his binder to his right arm, and lifted his left hand to reply.

 

 **_No, I just finished lunch early and my friends are busy. May I please stay in here?_ **he asked, hand shaking slightly at the thought of rejection. His teacher must have noticed and smiled at him, waves of calm radiating off of her.

 

“Of course you can stay in here, Logan. In fact, could you help me grade the Algebra 1 tests? If that’s not too much trouble,” she replied, holding up a stack of paper. Logan nodded and set his materials at his desk before walking back over and settling down to help grade. Grading relaxed him and took his mind off of his issues.

 

“So, Logan. Do you need to talk?” she asked, looking over her glasses. Logan shook his head, focusing on correcting a poor freshman’s factoring. She sighed and went back to silence, allowing Logan to stew in his thoughts. Far too soon, the rest of his class began to filter in, and Logan had to go back into his daily schedule, still raw and uncertain about what was going on with his brother.

 

Luckily, school was over quickly, and Logan began his walk home, not willing to wait for Roman to finish play practice today. Plus, he had homework, and Dad would need help making dinner since Papa was working late tonight. It’s not like Roman would worry, anyway, Logan knew as he reached the front door, reaching into his pocket to grab his house keys. He walked in the door, the scent of burning sugar hitting his nose.

 

“Logan? Can you help me? I can’t… figure out how to cook!” Dad’s voice called, tinged with panic. Logan chuffed, threw his backpack onto the couch, and walked into the kitchen, eyes widening as he took in the destruction around him. Flour dusted every surface. Eggs were splattered across the table. Sloppily chopped cloves of garlic lay on the floor, and a bottle of olive oil lay on its side, thankfully sealed and not leaking. In the middle of this cooking disaster zone stood Virgil Everhart, a famous author who still didn’t know how to cook at age 30. Logan smiles slightly and walked over, picking up a discarded chopping knife.

 

 **_What are you trying to make, Dad?_ **Virgil sighed and turned back to the stove, shutting it off and taking the slightly-smoking pan off of the burner.

 

“This… this nice pasta recipe. And we had all the things to hand make pasta… and I wanted to surprise Patton with something special? But… I failed,” Virgil muttered, gesturing around the room. Logan nodded and gently took the pan from Virgil. He grabbed out all the ingredients he was going to need and set to work, smiling.

 

 **_I can do this, Dad. Just focus on cleaning up,_ **Logan signed before setting to work. Virgil shuffled around behind him, cleaning up everything that he had almost destroyed and handing Logan the olive oil for later. Logan snorted and took it, giving his Dad a large smile and a big thumbs-up. Virgil was trying to learn a new skill, it was clear.

 

“Okay, it’s all cleaned up. Can I help?” Logan shook his head and finished kneading the dough, beginning to set it up to roll it out and cut it. The kitchen descended into silence as the two worked, Virgil mostly handing Logan things and stepping back and watching his son make the meal. Logan was just finishing dishing the pasta into bowls when the front door slammed open and Roman’s voice came floating in.

 

“I’m home, everyone! Do I smell garlic?” Logan stiffened a bit but focused on finishing his task while Virgil went out to find and talk to Roman.

 

“Yep. Logan actually made dinner. Talk to him,” Virgil drawled. Logan finished topping everything with parmesan and hurried towards his room, snatching a bowl on the way. No, he wasn’t avoiding Roman, what were you talking about?

 

He walked into his room and softly closed the door before collapsing into his desk chair, pulling out his math textbook and flipping open his notebook. This was not the first time he did this, eating dinner and doing homework while avoiding his family, and it would be far from the last time he did this. He shoved down the bubbling heat, stabbed his fork into a mushroom, and threw himself into graphing conic sections for the second night in a row.

* * *

 

“So… Roman. We need to have a talk,” Virgil started, sitting down with his noodles across from his more extroverted son. Roman blinked and looked up, mouth full of pasta and carrots. Confusion painted his face, which Virgil would find adorable in any other scenario, but right now made anger bubble in his gut. It was clear Logan was hurting, and Roman should have noticed and known, but he clearly had no idea, and that made Virgil angrier than he thought.

 

“About what? My grades are fine, I’m not having issues… what’s up, Dad? Is someone dying?” Roman babbled, eyes wide and panicked. Virgil sighed and pinched his nose. Wow, how did he raise such a dramatic child? He blamed Patton.

 

“No one is dying. You’re not in trouble. It’s Logan.” Roman’s face paled and he almost dropped the bowl, catching it at the last second. “I… what? What’s wrong with Logan? Is he being bullied? Is he okay? Is he sick? Does he have depression? Who do I need to fight?” Roman rattled off, fists clenching and teeth gritting. Virgil actually… felt _scared_ of his son at that moment. That… that should not happen.

 

“Whoa, hang on, Roman! Slow down! No, Logan is okay in most of those fields. Please let me talk!” Virgil babbled. Roman quieted down, brown eyes wide with expectation. Virgil sighed, steepled his fingers, and began. “I… I believe Logan may be exhibiting symptoms of depression or anxiety. And… I want to ask you if you have any idea why?”

 

Roman frowned and began to think. He seemed to finally stumble across a solution and his eyes widened, horror and despair filling their cocoa depths. “I… holy shit. I have no idea,” he whispered. Virgil sighed, took a bite of his pasta, and began to think about how to explain things to his son.

 

“I… you talk a lot about your friends, which is great, don’t get me wrong, but you also used to talk about Logan… and I’m wondering if you’ve just stopped talking to him?” Roman frowned before comprehension dawned.

 

“I haven’t been talking to him… oh crap, we were supposed to meet up at lunch today… oh crap!” Roman bolted upright, face pale. “I… where’s Logan! I need to talk to him! I- I need to fix this!” He sprinted out of the room, leaving Virgil alone to eat his pasta and contemplate all the horrible outcomes this situation could bring.

 

The front door opened again and closed again, and Virgil looked up to find Patton smiling softly at him. “Hey, honey, what’s going on?” Virgil sighed and pecked Patton on the cheek.

 

“Roman and Logan… are having some issues. They’re talking it out now.” Patton nodded and sat next to him, squeezing his hand.

 

“It’ll be fine, darling. They’re strong. They have a great bond. Everything will be okay,” Patton whispered. Virgil leaned against him, smiling softly.   


“I hope so, Patt. I hope so.”

* * *

 

 _Knock knock_. “Logan? Can we talk?” Logan’s head snapped upwards and he gulped at the sound of Roman’s nervous voice. His brother only sounded nervous when things were serious. Had Logan done something wrong? The mere thought sent nasty whispers through his brain, and he tried to block them out, focusing on the present. He stood and walked to his door, opening it to find Roman fidgeting with his sleeves in the hallway. “Can I come in?” Roman asked, eyes shining with something Logan couldn’t decipher. Logan nodded and let him in, closing the door behind his twin before sitting back in his desk chair while Roman perched on the bed. Silence reigned as the brothers faced each other, neither putting forth any words. Finally, after a solid three minutes of silence, Roman placed his hands on his knees, sighed, and began.

 

“Logan. I… you’ve been acting off lately. A bit more… depressed? And anxious? And I’d like to know what’s going on.” Logan bit his lip and wrung his hands together, trying to formulate a response. Should he be honest? Should he tell Roman the truth about his feelings? Or should he try and make Roman feel better? Looking into Roman’s earnest eyes, however, Logan felt all plans of lying leave his head. He had to tell his twin the truth.

 

 **_I… have been feeling abandoned lately? You have been skipping our lunch meetings to hang out with your friends… and we don’t talk much anymore… which is fine! You have your own friends and your own life. I just feel a bit sad and hurt over it,_ **Logan signed. His hands shook as they formed the damning signs, his hands lowering when he was done. Silence reigned, and Logan’s throat began to close up. He was so stupid, why couldn’t he just push his feelings down, why couldn’t he grow up and let Roman go-

 

Logan was suddenly yanked into a hug and he gasped, tears bubbling in his eyes. “You’re okay, Logan. You’re okay. I’m so, so sorry, bro, I didn’t know, I’m so sorry,” Roman sobbed, squeezing Logan. Logan slowly lifted his arms and hugged Roman back, finally allowing the tears to stream down his cheeks. There the two brothers sat, crying, for a length of time neither could tell, simply basking in the presence and love of the other, their best friend since birth. Eventually, Roman pulled back, sniffing, but kept his hands on Logan’s shoulders, giving him a watery grin.

 

“Okay. I promise, I will not forget our meetings, okay? In fact, I’m going to start spending all of lunch at least once a week with you. How does that sound?” Logan’s eyes widened and he frantically shook his head. No, he didn’t want that, Roman’s friends would start to hate him for taking Roman away-

 

“Hey, Logan? My friends will understand, okay? You come first, anyway. If they can’t handle me spending time with my brother, then they weren’t that great of friends in the first place,” Roman stated firmly, his voice cutting through Logan’s spiraling thoughts. Logan gulped and raised his hands.

 

 **_I don’t want to cut into your time with people you enjoy, though._ ** Roman growled and shook Logan gently.

 

“Logan. You matter more, okay? Plus, they all miss you. Just… trust me on this, okay?” Logan slowly, shakily nodded, and Roman smiled softly. “Good. That’s great, Logan. Now, yell at me if I do anything stupid, okay?”

 

Logan snorted. **_You’ll be smacked about ten times per day, then._ **Roman blinked before his cheeks puffed out.

 

“Hey! That’s rude!” Logan giggled, and Roman simply pouted more in an effort to be the largest drama queen on the planet. This caused Logan to giggle harder, and finally, Roman broke down laughing as well, happiness welling up in both sibling’s souls. They ended up cuddling on Logan’s bed and watching Netflix, somehow, but neither complained. This was the most time they’d spent with each other for a while, and neither was willing to have this end.

 

What neither knew was that, when they eventually fell asleep, Patton slipped into the room and tucked them in, plugged in Logan’s laptop, and dropped a soft kiss onto both of their foreheads. “Sweet dreams, kiddos,” he murmured before leaving, smiling to himself. His kiddos were finally beginning to make things better, and nothing could be better in his eyes.

* * *

 

“Logan, calm down. They all like you, remember?” Roman murmured, nudging his brother in the ribs gently. Logan gulped and adjusted his grip on his Caesar salad, staring across the lunchroom at Roman’s usual table filled with loud, laughing theatre kids. Mabel was draped across Dani, the two girls watching something on Dani’s phone. Shiloh and Tommy were shouting in Hebrew about math homework (Logan could only tell because he glimpsed their open math textbooks), and Clair was giggling along with Cory and Kate about cute humans. Overall, an alien environment to Logan. He didn’t fit in; he didn’t belong there. Roman huffed and grabbed Logan’s arm, yanking him after him as he marched over.

 

“Friends! Countrymen! Gentlewomen! Lend me your ears!” he called, causing the entire cafeteria to turn around and stare at them. Logan flinched, but Roman and his entire friend group took this in stride, grinning.

 

“Yes, Your Highness? What say you?” Shiloh yelled back, his voice lilting with sarcasm. The entire table chorused agreement, a cacophony of sarcasm erupting from the table. Logan flinched back, but Roman pushed onwards, gently shoving him in between Shiloh and Alfred. Logan simply fidgeted with his fork and waited to be kicked from the table.

 

“I say that my darling advisor, my dear brother, will be joining us today!” Roman chirped, lowering his volume. The rest of the cafeteria ignored them once again, and Logan swallowed as all the eyes at the table turned to him. He was acutely aware of how his argyle sweater vest and tie made him stand out among this group of fashionable teens. He fidgeted, not used to this much attention. Mika and Wirt were much more subdued and hated eye contact as much as Logan did. This… this was not in Logan’s comfort zone at all.

 

“Cool! So, Logan, do you listen to musicals? I just finished listening to the UK version of Heathers and _do I have some opinions_ ,” Mabel answered Roman, slamming her fist into the table.

 

“Oh, en guarde, bitch, you do not get to trash that recording!” Tommy yelped, slamming his fist into the table. Mabel yelled a challenge back, and Logan soon found himself embroiled in a conversation about which version of Heathers was better, a topic he knew nothing about. However, he found this conversation… pleasant, even fun. All of Roman’s friends were very welcoming and warm, and all of them took their time and let him sign, Roman translating for him. Never once did Logan feel excluded. This was… nice. He smiled his first genuine smile in months. Things were finally looking up.


	2. And Who Can Say Why Your Heart Cries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Roman is an Idiot (we still love him though), Mika Is a Mama Bear, and Logan and Virgil Chat and Have Cocoa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Of course, things could only look up for so long. The next month was wonderful for both of them: Roman spent more time with Logan on a daily basis, Logan’s mood and overall mental health improved, and the twins actually both started to act like better siblings. Virgil and Patton were happy because their kids were doing better, Roman’s friends mentioned how much better Logan seemed to be doing whenever he was around, and even Logan’s teachers noticed a stark improvement. He was less moody now, they said, more open to answering questions, and overall interacted more with his classmates. Roman was happier that his brother was doing better, and his friends were also happier for this change. 

 

Roman promised that he would show up to help Logan run through his poetry presentation at lunch that day. Roman promised that he would be there to support his brother through this stressful presentation. Roman promised that he would not skip this meeting. However, five minutes after their meeting time, Roman was nowhere to be found. Roman was nowhere to be found and Logan was in the office of his physics teacher, sobbing his eyes out and trying desperately to breathe. Roman had abandoned him again. He should have known this would happen, why was he so stupid, he couldn’t breathe, he needed his Dad… 

 

“Logan? Love? I need you to look at me, alright?” Mika’s soft voice came from in front of him. Logan shakily raised a hand to communicate, but refused to remove his face from his legs. A sigh, a shuffle, and then Logan found himself being pulled into a loose, warm hug. He buried his face in the soft sweater vest Mika always wore and allowed the tears to fall without restraint again. Mika let him cry, rocking him back and forth. 

 

“Would you like me to call your Dad?” Mika murmured. Logan nodded, and Mika dropped a gentle kiss into his hair. “Hang on, then. Would you like me to call him or Wirt?” 

 

Logan raised a hand and shakily signed  **_Wirt_ ** . Mika nodded and shifted slightly. 

 

“Hey, Wirt? Could you call Logan’s Dad and tell him to come get Logan?” Mika called softly. Logan stiffened. No no no, he didn’t need to be picked up, please don’t bother his father with his stupid feelings. Mika gently grabbed his hand, and Logan distantly realized that he had been signing that. “No, Logan, it’s okay. Your Dad won’t be angry, I assure you.” Distantly, Logan registered Wirt stammering into a phone, talking to his Dad, but he decided to ignore that and focus on Mika. 

 

**_Roman left again,_ ** Logan signed. Mika sighed, chest rising less than it should have thanks to xyr binder.  **_He promised he would be here to help and he left._ **

 

“Roman is going to feel my wrath, I assure you,” Mika growled slightly. “That was not okay of him.” Logan shrugged. He should be used to it now; why was he so emotional about this? 

 

A person cleared their throat above him, and Logan looked up to find Wirt holding out his phone, video chat with Virgil open. “Logan? I’m coming to get you, okay? Just hold on for fifteen minutes,” Virgil babbled. His green-brown eyes were blown wide in fright, and Logan could sense the panic radiating through the screen. 

 

**_I will be fine, Dad. Focus on your breathing, please?_ ** Virgil giggled, slightly hysterical, and shook his head. 

 

“L, don’t worry about me, okay? It’s my job to worry about you.” Logan nodded, still confused, but let it go. Virgil smiled, promised to be there as soon as possible, and hung up, leaving Logan alone with his two friends. Wirt crouched down, still looking nervous, and offered a shaky smile. 

 

“Hey, Logan. You’ll be okay. We’re here for you,” he stammered, smiling awkwardly in support. Logan nodded and sniffed, tears still flowing down his cheeks. His two friends scooted in, cuddling him and offering comfort while glaring viciously at anyone who dared to look in their direction. That was how Virgil found them fifteen minutes later, out of breath and panting. Logan looked up, tears mostly dried, and Virgil jerkily dropped to his knees, taking Logan’s face in his hands. 

 

“Oh, sweetie, are you okay? Here, let’s go home, I’ll get you some tea and Crofter’s and we can talk, okay?” Logan nodded and allowed Virgil to pull him up as the halfway bell rang. Mika and Wirt stood up as well, one with eyes blazing and the other with eyes filled with worry. “Thank you for helping him, you two. You’re welcome to come over later if you’d like.” 

 

“We most likely will, thank you Mr. Everhart. Take care, Logan, okay?” Mika replied, smiling softly. With that, Virgil lead Logan out of school, fully intent on showering his son with all the love and support he needed. When they were gone, Mika turned to Wirt, teeth gritted and eyes blazing. 

 

“I’m about to go rip Roman a new one. Are you with me?” Wirt nodded shakily, and with that, the two stalked out, fully intent on chewing Logan’s twin out until his ears bled and he realized exactly what he had done.

* * *

 

“Roman Everhart! I need to have a word with you!” a crisp British accented voice yelled, the anger in their voice easily cutting through the din of the cafeteria. Everyone shushed immediately, eyes turning to see the tall form of Mika Kirkland storming through the crowds of high schoolers, eyes blazing with the fury of a million suns from a thousand solar systems. Those who had their backpacks in the walkway quickly moved them, scared of what Mika would do to their belongings in their angered state. Roman, the person Mika clearly had a vendetta against, looked up, face painted in confusion. Why did one of Logan’s best friends need to talk to him, especially while looking so angry? 

 

Mika came to a stop in front of Roman’s table, fists clenched and gritted teeth bared. “Did you or did you not promise Logan you would be there to help him with his poetry presentation?” Roman blinked, still confused, and nodded. That was tomorrow, though, wasn’t it? Why was Mika yelling at him over it now? 

 

“Then why the hell weren’t you there?” Mika growled. Roman’s blood froze as reality dawned on his slow, stupid, awful brain. That… that had been today. He had missed something important to Logan after promising to be there for him… no wonder his brother hated him! Roman bolted to his feet, wild with desperation.

 

“I… Mika, where’s Logan? I… I have to go, I have to… I have to fix this,” Roman gasped. His friends all looked at him, concerned, and Shiloh slowly rose to his feet, hand outstretched to offer comfort. 

 

Mika’s eyes drained of most of their anger and instead filled with pity. “He’s at home after having a panic attack in the physics room. I think we should take this somewhere private, yes?” Roman nodded, still in shock, and began to climb out of the lunch table. He tripped and fell, legs trembling too badly to support him. Shiloh dived to catch him, murmuring reassurances and affirmation to him in an attempt to help. Mika crouched down and grabbed Roman and Shiloh’s backpacks before standing back up. “Come on, Shiloh, I know a place.” With that, the three of them set off, desperate to fix this situation before the hurt became any worse for any party involved. 

 

Even with only 20 minutes of lunch left, Mika’s reputation as the perfect class president with a 4.0 GPA and a perfect record allowed the three of them to get permission to miss fifth hour in order to have a chat with the school psychologist. In reality, Mika convinced xyr physics teacher to allow them to sit and talk in her office to sort this out, which she was more than happy to oblige. Mika set to work brewing up more coffee while Shiloh settled Roman in and began to calm him, muttering soothing nothings until he was sure Roman was calm enough to be present for this conversation. Mika walked over balancing three mugs and settled in, years of ballet lending a certain grace to xyr movement that Roman could only wish he had. Xe took a long, slow sip of coffee and began. 

 

“Roman. I apologize for yelling at you. I see now that you genuinely forgot, and while I am still a bit angry because of how upset Logan is, I am not angry at you, per say.” Roman nodded and took his coffee with shaking hands. Shiloh squeezed his shoulder for support while Mika continued. “Now, why do you think Logan is upset?” 

 

“I… we promised, together, that we’d try and actually be there for each other… I’d spend less time with my friends, Logan would try to talk to me about his feelings… and I fucked up,” Roman whispered, staring into the black depths of his drink. 

 

“Hey, Roman. Human error. This isn’t your fault,” Shiloh insisted. 

 

“Well it sure isn’t Logan’s!” Roman yelled back, voice cracking. Mika jumped, clearly startled, but Shiloh took this in stride, used to Roman’s emotional outbursts. 

 

“Of course it isn’t, but it’s not yours either! These things happen, Roman! Stop blaming yourself!” 

 

“Could you two maybe stop yelling, please? There is class going on outside,” Mika broke in, voice wobbling a bit. From a distant corner of Roman’s mind, he remembers Logan telling him that Mika and Wirt were both sensitive to loud noises, especially when it came from other people who appeared angry. Roman forced himself to calm down and quiet down, not wishing to scare anyone else. 

 

“Yeah… so. What… what can I do to fix this?” Roman murmured, eyes screaming apologies in Mika’s general direction. Mika finished xyr mug of coffee and poured another, much to Roman’s shock and horror. How much coffee did this person drink?! 

 

“First: I’d work on communication with Logan. He’s noticed that you’ve been slipping a bit in talking to him about important things in the past week or so, and I agree with him that you do need to work on that. For God’s sake, Roman, he’s your twin. He’s not going to judge you for having feelings.” 

 

“Yeah, Ro, you do have a habit of bottling and not talking about the things you need,” Shiloh added, smiling apologetically. Roman nodded and finished his coffee, the warm beverage filling him with heat missing from his soul right now. 

 

“I can do that. Start talking to Logan about feelings and stuff more,” Roman muttered. Mika nodded, a slight smile tugging at the corners of xyr lips. 

 

“That’s all I can ask. Second: Try and include Logan more with your friends. Not just choose him over your friends, since that is a situation no one wants.” Shiloh nodded at Mika’s assessment, and Mika took that as permission to continue. “Start inviting him to sit with you at lunch once a week or so when Wirt and I are too busy with other things, for instance. Invite him to afterschool activities. Start planning sleepovers with him and your friend group. Anything will help, I assure you.” 

 

“But… Logan doesn’t like crowds, and he doesn’t like my friends. How do I work around that?” Roman seemed genuinely confused and upset. Mika and Shiloh shared a look, understanding passing between green eyes, before Shiloh turned to Roman. 

 

“Ro. We all don’t know Logan well enough to like him or not. This is a good first step, I promise.” 

  
  
“And Logan doesn’t dislike your friends, he just doesn’t know them well enough,” Mika added, second cup of coffee during this conversation almost gone. Roman blinked. He… had not considered that, had he? Whoops. 

 

“Third: Be patient. Logan likes to pretend he doesn’t have emotions, but that is a blatant lie and we all know it. Emotional pain takes time to heal, so just… be patient with him. If you do those things, Roman, you can at least start to repair your relationship before it’s too late.” With that, Mika poured xemself a third mug of coffee and settled back, waiting for Roman’s response. 

 

Roman allowed Mika’s advice to swirl around his head, and he pondered how he could begin to implement this plan. Logan was at home right now, most likely bawling his eyes out (that caused a harsh pang of pain to erupt in Roman’s heart; he’d never liked his brother in pain, especially not crying) and believing that Roman hated his guts. He needed to fix this now, and honestly, Mika’s idea seemed to be the best way to do that. Mika knew Logan even better than Roman did at this point (and didn’t that thought just sting), and Roman knew that xe knew how Logan operated better than most. 

 

“I… thank you, Mika. I think I can try to start tonight,” Roman choked out. Mika nodded and sipped at the coffee, smiling lightly. 

 

“Of course, Roman. I will always be happy to help. Logan cares for you, and I care for Logan. Therefore, I care for you.” Roman blinked. That… no wonder Logan was friends with Mika, they thought in very similar ways. 

 

Shiloh snorted. “Wow, no need to sound so formal, Your Highness.” Mika choked on xyr coffee for a brief instant before recovering. 

 

“I… alright then. I was… not expecting that,” xe coughed. “Now, you two could head back to class if you wished.” 

 

“Nah. I’d rather stay here and make sure Ro’s calm,” Shiloh answered. 

  
  
“I kind of want to stay here and just watch videos and talk about other fun things,” Roman chirped. Mika sighed, clearly conflicted, before nodding and scooting next to the two extroverts. 

 

“Well, there is this nice YouTuber who makes writing videos and is just a dork who loves his cat. I would not object to watching his content,” Mika said as xe pulled out xyr laptop. The three of them settled in to watch light-hearted videos and ignore their problems, just like teenagers should.  

* * *

 

“Okay, Logan, sit down, sweetie, I’ll make you hot cocoa, just stay here and don’t die, please?” Virgil babbled, setting Logan down on the couch before dashing into the kitchen. Why was he so useless when it came to emotions? Patton was so much better, but Patton was at work and wouldn’t be home for a few hours, leaving Virgil alone to comfort his crying son. Said crying son was curled into a ball, salt water soaking into the skin of his arms because his sweater sleeves were pushed back to prevent damage. Virgil’s heart broke for his son and he finished making the cocoa as quickly as possible, desperate to get back and comfort his son. He dashed back out to the living room, careful not to spill a drop of the comforting beverage, before sitting next to his son and handing over the cocoa. 

 

“So, L, what’s wrong?” Virgil whispered. Logan spent a few minutes in silence, drinking his cocoa, before shakily raising a hand and beginning to sign. 

 

**_Roman promised to help me with my presentation… and he didn’t show up. He forgot me and abandoned me again…_ ** Virgil’s blood absolutely boiled and he had to force himself to take deep breaths so as not to let his anger show. No matter how angry he got, he would not frighten his son. But he was going to have some  _ words  _ with Roman when he got home. 

 

“Hey… I can’t say that Roman didn’t mean it, or that he just forgot, or anything else, since I’m not him and wasn’t there. I can, however, say that I am here for you, and we’ll solve this whole mess together, okay?” Virgil answered. Logan nodded, tears still streaming down his face, and took a long sip of his hot cocoa before leaning into his Dad. Virgil lifted an arm and pulled Logan closer, sighing sadly. He didn’t like seeing his son so sad, especially when it was the fault of his other son, and he hated feeling useless like this. He could, however, try and make this better, and that’s exactly what he was going to do. If that meant making hot cocoa, he would. If it meant giving advice, he would. If it meant being a pillow to cry into, he would. He just needed to make sure that Logan was okay, and, come hell or high water, he would make it happen. For now, though, he sat there with his quiet son, sipping hot cocoa and watching space and nature documentaries until Logan fell asleep. When he did fall asleep finally, Virgil slipped his phone out and texted Patton. He still had a couple hours until Roman got home, but when he did, the two of them were going to have some  _ words _ . This needed to be fixed, now, and Virgil would make sure it was. He would not allow his children’s relationship to fall apart, not this easily, not when he could help fix it. 

 

Virgil didn’t realize that he too fell asleep. He only noticed when he was shaken gently awake by soft, unfamiliar hands. “Mr Everhart, please wake up. Roman is home, and he wants to talk to Logan,” Wirt’s voice came from above. Virgil blinked awake, still cuddling Logan, to find his son’s friend standing over him, brow crinkled in worry. Behind Wirt stood Roman and Mika, Logan’s other friend, one sheepish and one angry. Three guesses as to which was which, and the first two don’t count. Virgil quickly woke up the rest of the way and stood, cracking his spine as he fixed Roman with a flat glare. 

 

“I think I need to have a talk with Roman first, if that’s alright?” he asked, making sure to keep his voice light while his emotions were anything but. Mika and Wirt were wise and left quickly, Mika stopping to gently scoop up Logan. Smart boys, those two. No wonder Logan was friends with them. Logan’s choice in friends was not Virgil’s current concern, however, and he turned his attention to his other son, eyes icy. 

 

“Roman. What happened.” This was not a question; this was not a debate. This was a serious talk about the state of Roman and Logan’s emotions and relationship, and Virgil needed Roman to know that. 

 

Roman sighed and looked down, sorrow oozing off of him. “I… I was supposed to help Logan with his poetry presentation… and I blew him off for my friends. Everyone is telling me it was an accident and that I just forgot, but… I don’t know.” Tears started to pool in his eyes, and Virgil bit his lip. He didn’t like seeing his kids sad. How was he going to fix this?! 

 

Virgil pulled Roman into a hug, gently rocking him back and forth. “Hey, Ro. I’m not mad, okay? Well, no, I’m a bit angry at the situation, but that’s because I don’t like seeing you two hurt. I care about you, okay? I… I just want you and Logan to be okay.” Roman started crying harder and squeezed Virgil back, burying his face in the writer’s shoulder. Virgil started to cry as well, and as one, the two of them collapsed onto the couch, allowing their emotions to finally leave their souls. Virgil could not tell how long they sat there, simply talking and crying, but at some point, Patton came home and sat on Roman’s other side, pulling his husband and his son into a warm, comforting hug. 

 

“It’ll all be okay, loves,” Patton murmured, voice clogged with tears. “Everything will be okay.” 

  
  
“Will it, though?” Roman whispered, voicing what they were all thinking. Virgil couldn’t answer that, and neither could Patton. No one really knew whether things were going to be okay. It was up to Roman and Logan to fix this, and no matter how much it pained them, this was one thing they couldn’t help their children with. 

 

“Yes. You’re trying, Roman. That tells me that things will be okay,” Patton whispered. Roman nodded, sniffed, and stood up, roughly wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand. He squared his shoulders, set his jaw, and smiled. 

 

“Now, I need to go talk to Logan. We’re fixing this.” With that announcement, he strolled off, leaving Virgil and Patton alone. 

 

“Do… do you think they’ll be okay?” Virgil murmured. Patton dropped a kiss into Virgil’s hair, hugging him close. 

 

“I don’t know, love. I don’t know.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is... The Talk


	3. Who Can Say When The Roads Meet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which The Talk Is Had, The Children Cry, And Logan Finally Talks To Roman's Friends (and they're great)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I told you it'd get better. After more tears, of course xD

_ Knock knock.  _ “Logan? Can we talk?” Logan sat up, tears still crusting his cheeks, and he sniffed. Wirt squeezed his shoulder, offering support and comfort. Mika stood smoothly, glancing back at Logan for confirmation about the next course of action. Logan nodded shakily, and with that, Mika strolled to the door and opened it, most likely giving Roman the glare to end all glares. 

 

“Roman. Greetings. Talk about what?” Mika drawled, leaning on the doorframe with arms crossed over xyr chest. Roman gulped, taking in the aggressive mama-bear that was Mika at this exact moment. 

 

“Um… about… you know…” Roman stuttered. Mika sighed and stepped back, opening the door wider in a clear invitation. Roman slipped in and froze upon seeing Logan, tears still streaming down his face, being cuddled by a protectively-angry Wirt. “Hey, Logan. How are you doing?” 

 

**_Tired,_ ** Logan signed. Roman swallowed. 

 

“Good, good. Can… do you want Wirt and Mika here or no?” Logan made the sign for no, and Roman sighed. “Alright.” Wirt and Mika vanished before he could even say anything, something that Roman appreciated. They were good friends to Logan, he knew, and while sometimes his heart hurt because he should have been that good friend to Logan, he was happy his brother had people like that in his life. Roman banished the depressing thoughts and walked over, delicately sitting down on the bed next to Logan. “Do you want to start or should I?” 

 

**_I can start,_ ** Logan signed, limbs shaking.  **_I know it was an accident, but I’m still hurt._ **

 

“And you have every right to be. You did absolutely nothing wrong,” Roman soothed, internally punching himself for whatever he did to make Logan think his feelings were all his fault. Logan sniffed and swiped at his cheeks before continuing. 

 

**_I experienced a moment of panic when you did not show up at our appointed time and place. I can attempt to work on being less sensitive, or-_ ** Roman gently grabbed his hands, grip still light so Logan could pull back at any time. 

 

“No, no Star-Nerd you don’t. That was very, very much my fault. You reacted in a perfectly normal way, okay? Please stop telling yourself this is your fault when it really, really isn’t.” Logan nodded, still looking doubtful, and Roman internally sighed before an idea lit up his brain. “You know how the Doctor blames himself for every little thing that goes wrong, even when it’s not his fault?” Another nod. “Well, that’s you right now. Is the Doctor always right?” A shake of the head. “Okay. So why is this your fault at all?” 

 

**_You have your own life,_ ** Logan answered. Roman shook his head and groaned. Had Logan not listened to a  _ word  _ he’d said? Did Logan think himself so unimportant to Roman that he would willingly put his own well-being below Roman’s friends? 

 

“Logan, I swear to Walt Disney, the next time you try and justify why I am more important than your feelings, I will yeet atop you and cuddle you into submission,” Roman announced, glaring at his twin just to prove his point. Logan sniffed a bit before letting out a small giggle, warming Roman’s heart as a large smile stretched across his face in reply. “See, we’re okay, yeah?” Logan tried to pull himself together, but an evil grin crossed Roman’s face as an idea came to mind. He quickly reached out and poked Logan’s ribcage, causing the slightly smaller twin to let out a squeak. Roman’s grin widened as Logan’s eyes widened in horror before Roman launched himself atop Logan, ignoring the squeals as he set to mercilessly tickling Logan into submission. 

 

“I told you I’d do this!” Roman crowed as happy tears began to stream down Logan’s cheeks. Logan tried to weakly bat Roman’s hands away, but Roman kept going, determined to quash his brother’s negative emotions to the point where they could never resurface. Okay, maybe tickling was not the best way to go about it, but it was the best idea he could think of on such short notice! 

 

**_Roman stop I get it!_ ** Logan signed, out of breath. Roman grinned and shuffled back, giving Logan plenty of time and space to compose himself. He did eventually, sitting up and shooting a beaming smile in Roman’s general direction. 

 

“Feeling better?” Roman asked, and with that, Logan’s smile dropped again. Roman cursed his stupidity and shuffled closer to wrap Logan in a comforting hug. 

 

**_I… a bit. I am still concerned? But I am mostly alright, thank you Roman._ ** Roman shook his head stubbornly. 

 

“No, no, you should not be thanking me. I’m the one who caused this, and as such, I need to fix it. Okay? What do you need right now, Logan?” Logan bit his lip as he thought, and Roman sat back on his heels, willing to wait as long as he needed to for Logan to answer. 

 

**_Perhaps time dedicated just to us? Not right now, necessarily, if you don’t want to, just in the future._ ** Roman nodded, already planning a movie and spa night that would begin the second this conversation ended.  **_And then… lunch meetings?_ **

 

“Done and done. Anything else? I promise I will try to do it,” Roman answered, mentally rearranging his week to make two lunch meetings with Logan a week. He could only think of one person who would complain, and honestly, Clair could suck it up if it was that big of an issue for them. Logan bit his lip and thought before raising a single hand. Roman’s stomach sank. Logan only did that when he was too nervous to allow himself to articulate fully. That couldn’t be a good sign. 

 

**_Decathlon meetings and concerts…_ ** Roman blinked, confused. Didn’t he go to those? 

 

“I thought I went to those already?” Roman asked, cocking his head to the side. Logan shook his head and lifted the other hand as well, something smoothing over in Roman’s stomach at that. 

 

**_Not for a few months, now_ ** . Roman’s blood decided to all travel to his feet without his consent, leaving him pale as a sheet and unable to process his surroundings and his thoughts. Holy… this had been going on for  _ months _ ?! And Logan was only now saying something?! How long he had been suffering in silence, believing himself below Roman’s wants, crying on the inside as his brother shattered his heart into a million shreds- 

 

**_Roman? I’m sorry, it’s stupid, you can ignore me,_ ** Logan signed. That snapped Roman out of his stupor and he lunged forward, latching onto Logan’s shoulders and staring into his wide, sad, dark brown eyes. 

 

“No. Nope. Not hearing that. Now the question becomes: exactly how long have I been a horrible brother?” Logan swallowed and looked down at his hands as Roman’s heart sank. He had a feeling he wouldn’t like the answer, but he honestly could care less at this point. He needed to know, he needed to fix things, he needed to make Logan  _ happy _ \- 

 

**_Five months, four days, eighteen hours, and thirty six seconds._ ** The air left Roman’s lungs and if he weren’t already sitting down, he surely would have collapsed onto the bed. Or the floor. Both were viable options at this point to his foggy brain and shattering heart. How had he been so terrible, so despicable, so  _ horrendously bad  _ that this had been going on for more than five months and he. Hadn’t. Noticed?! Logan started crying as he noticed Roman’s silent reaction, and if that didn’t just twist Roman’s heart into a tighter charcoal lump than it already was, more than he considered possible. 

 

“Hey, Lo, it… please don’t cry,” Roman choked out. Logan kept crying, even as Roman gently pulled him into a side-hug. “It’s okay, alright? I… I wish you’d told me sooner, but I’m not mad, okay? I… I just want to fix this and for you to be okay…” Logan sniffed and shook his head, wiping his eyes on his sleeve. 

 

**_But it’s not okay because I made you sad._ ** Roman started crying at that, those nine words breaking what was left of his already fractured, blackened, twisted-up heart. Now both twins were a sobbing, anxious mess, and neither of them trusted themselves to continue this conversation without causing serious damage to the other. They remained in this standstill of sorts for the better part of five minutes, in which far too many tears were shed and no statements of any kind were traded. One could almost consider this a failure of a conversation, if not for Logan’s friends. 

 

See, no one would ever dare accuse Mika Kirkland of being a doting parent, but they also sure as hell wouldn’t accuse xem of not giving a shit at all. While Wirt might be more willing to take “give us space” incredibly literally and go to a whole other level of the house to not eavesdrop, Mika was not that person and had instead camped just outside the door to Logan’s room. When the tickle fight had started, xe had startled, half-convinced there was a murder going on in there. Of course, xe had quickly realized that it was just a tickle fight and had relaxed, believing the worst of the conversation to be over. However, once the sobbing started, xe shot to xyr feet and ran off, ready to try and fix this the only way xe knew how: blanket forts, hot cocoa, and plushies. 

 

With some help from Patton and Virgil, Mika managed to rig up a basic blanket fort in the living room around the telly and set to work on making good hot chocolate from melted dark chocolate chunks and real milk, not that powdered crap that xe would never admit to secretly liking. Patton and Virgil left to take Wirt home just as the mugs were done, leaving Mika to waltz up the stairs, into Logan’s bedroom, and drag both idiotic emotional twins downstairs to watch cartoons and sip hot cocoa in a nice warm blanket fort surrounded by plushies. 

 

Roman tried to protest, and Mika shut him up with a gentle smack to the head and a blanket around the shoulders. “Drink your fucking hot chocolate and let me make you feel better,” xe growled, turning on Big Hero 6 while xe settled Logan in next to Roman. Once both twins were thoroughly cocooned in blankets, trapped on all sides by plushies, and drinking far too much hot cocoa to be healthy, Mika retreated, going to grab the things for Phase Two of xyr plan. 

 

“So… I’m really, really sorry,” Roman murmured, hugging his ceramic red mug closer to his chest. Logan sighed and raised a hand, holding his black ceramic mug in his right hand. 

 

**_Roman I love you but shut up. This isn’t on you._ ** Roman gulped and sipped the warm brown liquid, still convinced this was all his fault. Logan sighed and leaned onto Roman’s shoulder, sighing.  **_Roman, please believe me._ **

 

“Listen to Logan, he clearly got the brains in this twin set,” Mika called, walking back in with… was that a nail polish set?! Roman and Logan both blinked in unison, confused. “This is nail polish. I want you two to do your nails, and you’re not leaving until your nails are dry and you’ve solved these issues.” With that, Mika stalked out, leaving the twins alone. 

 

**_So… I go first?_ ** Logan signed. Roman nodded and extended his hands. Logan grabbed some red and gold nail polish and set to work, keeping one hand free to communicate. 

 

**_Alright. Tell me about your friends? I want to know something about each of them before I sit with them at lunch._ ** Roman blinked. Really? Logan nodded, looking at his brother with a comforting smile. 

 

“Alright, um… So. Shiloh is a STEM nerd as well as a theatre nerd. You’ll get along great, he really loves Doctor Who and the Sherlock Holmes stuff.” Logan’s eyes lit up at that, making something positive bubble in Roman’s stomach. “Mabel loves glitter and crafting, so don’t sit by her if you don’t want to be washing glitter off of you for a solid week after the fact.” 

 

**_Good to know,_ ** Logan signed. Roman nodded and looked at his now red and gold nails, smiling softly. 

 

“Dani is a tri-sport athlete, a math nerd, and is actually our head tech person. So, if you want to talk about construction and architecture, she’s your person.” Logan nodded and finished the second coat on Roman’s nails. “And Tommy is a track person and our main costume designer. He’s a bit of a diva, but honestly, he’s a sweetheart.” 

 

**_Isn’t he the one who always comes first in the sprints?_ ** Roman murmured confirmation and Logan kept going with his nails. 

 

“And then… Kate honestly flits in and out, but she’s mainly a dancer. Cory and Clair… have a thing. Clair’s a fashion diva and a writer, and Cory’s just a bundle of sweetness until you push too far.” Logan took in this information and finished Roman’s nails, nodding as he capped up the last bottle. 

 

**_Alright. Would you mind if I joined you tomorrow?_ ** Roman beamed, nodding enthusiastically, and had to force himself to not move his hands in order to not ruin Logan’s almost-perfect paint job. 

 

“Of course you can! Anything else?” Logan shook his head, and with that, Roman took Logan’s hands, grabbed blue and silver nail polish, and got to work. “Alright, then it’s my turn. You’re amazing and I don’t tell you enough. I’m so sorry that I’ve been an ass, and I promise that now I’m going to try much, much harder to be aware of you and what you need, emotions wise.” Logan blinked and started to raise a hand, most likely to deny that he had emotions, but Roman grabbed it back and settled it back into position. “Um, nope, you’ll ruin the nail polish.” Logan’s shoulders drooped and he chuckled a little bit before remaining still. 

 

“Now, I’m coming to your next concert, and your next Decathlon competition, and we’re having lunch tomorrow. And while I wanted to do a spa day tonight, this is great! Now, I’m almost done, hang on.” Logan nodded, and Roman quickly finished his nails in silence before pulling back, beaming. “Okay! Now… aw, movie’s over.” Logan giggled and carefully held up his hands. 

 

**_You are a dork._ ** Roman gasped, clasping a hand over his heart dramatically. 

 

“How dare!” Logan giggled and gently pushed Roman back, smile lighting up the room. The two dissolved into fits of giggles and cuddled into each other, falling asleep in a cloud of happiness after the stressful emotions of the night.

* * *

 

“Alright, Logan, remember what I told you. Clair can smell fear,” Roman shout-murmured to be heard over the din of the cafeteria. Logan nodded and clutched his Caesar salad closer to his chest to prevent it being brushed out of his hands in the crowded room. Roman slipped an arm through Logan’s and pulled him over to the usual table. Everyone’s eyes snapped up at their presence, and Logan’s blood chilled. Did they all hate him? Especially because Mika had yelled at Roman yesterday at lunch. 

 

“Logan! You’re okay!” Shiloh called, shooting upright and dashing over to wrap him in a hug. Logan stiffened before awkwardly hugging back, salad still clutched in one hand. Shiloh pulled back and ruffled his hair, giggling a bit before dragging Logan over to sit between him and a blonde, most likely Dani. 

 

“Hey, Logan! I heard you like architecture,” the blonde (yep, definitely Dani) started, voice bubbling with authentic cheer and interest. Logan smiled and carefully picked at his salad before answering her open-ended statement. 

 

**_Yes, I really do. Gothic architecture is a favourite of mine, to be honest._ ** Dani clapped her hands and completely ignored her garlic pasta, launching into a long ramble about flying buttresses and how amazing and innovative they were for the time period. Logan jumped in as well, talking about the geometry and the psychology behind why these structures were so aesthetically appealing. That launched them into a discussion about geometry and how important it is in so many areas of study, leaving everyone else confused. 

 

Eventually, a long pink nail tapped the table in front of Logan. He turned to see a red-head dressed like a fashion model, smiling at him. “So. Logan. I heard you like literature.” Logan nodded, and the redhead, clearly Clair, reached into her bag and pulled out a book, plopping it in front of Logan. “Have you read Picture of Dorian Grey?” Logan nodded, and Clair’s face lit up before she launched into a rant about that. With that, Logan settled down and relaxed, the camaraderie among Roman’s friends washing over him and whisking all his worries away while he ate his salad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Opinions Will Be Clear Next Chapter


	4. Who Can Say If Your Love Grows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which The Author Rants About Math, Music, And Stupid Composers Named Saint-Saens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. I have played all the pieces Logan is playing. Yes. They are just as painful as I described. No I am not a horn player. Yes I am a clarinet player. Saint-Saens is my eternal enemy. 
> 
> Also. Factoring. Just... stop being complicated, school system, teach them a way that actually makes sense.

“Okay, okay, Logan? Calm down, sweetie, it’ll be okay,” Mika murmured, gently grabbing Logan’s shoulders and staring into his eyes. Logan shook his head, on the verge of tears, as he clutched his horn closer to his chest. This was not going to end well, he just knew it. He wasn’t prepared, his anxiety had been acting up all day, Roman was most likely not going to be here- 

 

“ _ Logan _ . Listen to me,” Mika ordered, gently grabbing Logan’s horn from his arms and setting it gently in the case. “You’ll be okay, you know these pieces better than almost everyone here.” 

 

**_Roman’s not going to show up, is he?_ ** Logan signed, hands shaking. Mika growled and shook xyr head, clearly exasperated. 

 

“Roman’s coming. He’s in the audience. I checked for myself, okay?” Logan sniffed, trying to stem his tears. Mika wouldn’t lie to him, he knew that, so there was really no reason for him to be crying like a stupid child. Mika didn’t seem to mind, however, and gently rubbed his back, whispering soothing nothings into Logan’s ears until he calmed down. Luckily, the rest of their band gave the two of them space, something Logan was eternally grateful for. Finally, finally, he managed to calm down, and Mika handed him back his horn with a grin. “Now, let’s go out there and kick those pieces’ butts, yeah?” Logan nodded and stood up, walking out towards the stage. Mika followed with xyr oboe. The two walked out to find Wirt already seated with his clarinet, and he shot them a big grin when he saw them. 

 

Logan settled into his spot in the horn section, nodding at all of his sectionmates, as he nervously fiddled with his keys and blew warm air through his instrument. This was their longest concert, being the last one of the year, and he knew this one was going to be especially rough on his embouchure. He also happened to be the first horn, despite being the only freshman in the horn section. The other three horns, two juniors and a sophomore, had all done the first horn shift, leaving Logan to pick up this one. He glanced up to see that Wirt had vanished, most likely because he was the tuner for tonight. 

 

The lights dimmed before coming back on at the sound of soft, nervous footsteps. Wirt paused at the front of the stage, lifted his clarinet, and let out the long drone of a concert Bb. Logan waited for the low brass to settle into their pitch before lifting his own horn and making sure everything was properly tuned. Wirt seamlessly switched to the concert A and Logan adjusted for that pitch as well, lowering his horn and waiting for the cue to stand when his conductor came out. She did, strands coming out of her bun, beaming with exhilaration at her band in front of her. She stepped up onto the podium, raised her baton, and Logan raised his horn, prepared for the first note. 

 

He glimpsed his father out of the corner of his eye beaming as the first notes of the first piece registered. Logan knew Virgil would love the first piece; after all, Nightmare Before Christmas was his favourite movie, so why wouldn’t he love a band arrangement of it? As the piece went on, Logan noticed that Virgil was nudging another person in excitement, but Logan didn’t have time to explore more because oh  _ shit  _ that was his entrance in two measures! Finally, they reached Wirt’s clarinet solo, and Logan lowered his horn to watch his friend noodle around on his chromatic scale, eventually screaming out a high B before moving into a glissando back down to a D. They finished the piece within a couple minutes, Logan’s facial muscles showing no traces of soreness.

 

The next piece was extremely difficult to tune, but the horn part was simple until the end. Logan fucking  _ hated  _ large intervals, and what did the composer do? Write a large interval. The piece ended with a lovely, perfectly tuned 9 chord, much to Logan’s delight, and he moved to the next piece, groaning internally. Goddamn you, Saint-Saëns. Granted, the clarinets had it worse. He’d only seen Wirt’s part once, but what he had seen had made him cry in agony for his friend. Who thought that weird chromatic with repeated steps in eighth notes at this tempo was a good idea?! Regardless, they actually gave a very good performance of the piece, and Logan dropped his horn onto his lap, beginning to feel some soreness in his facial muscles. Great, because the next piece was horn-heavy. Wonderful. 

 

The piece was over with before Logan knew it, and he appreciated the fact that he wasn’t a senior and so had no chance of being given one of the end-of-year awards. This was a solid 15 minutes to rest his face, and he was going to take it, thank you very much. While he did, tears were shed, hugs were given, gifts were presented, and the audience clapped for far too long and far too loudly for Logan’s taste. It died down eventually, however, and Logan raised his horn, prepared to end this concert with one of the best pieces Tchaikovsky ever wrote. The low instruments started with the ominous, funeral-march style chords, and Logan lifted his horn to his face in preparation for the melody. 

 

The piece went off flawlessly, much to Logan’s delight. Their dress rehearsal that morning had been… well, calling it shaky was generously understated. The clarinets and flutes were finally lined up on the triplet passages, the horns and trombones were finally in tune, and everyone’s rhythms were counted perfectly. Each articulation was sharp and crisp, each phrase elegantly shaped, each part blended seamlessly into the others. The final chord sang through the hall, ending with that perfect reverberation of tuba, as everyone slowly lowered their instruments as the sound finally dissipated. Almost instantly, everyone in the audience burst into loud applause, eliciting a giddy giggle of pure elation out of Logan. They had done it. They had finished one of the hardest pieces of their high school careers, and they had done it well. Glancing out, his breath caught in his throat as he saw Roman, on his feet, his smile wide and bright even in the dark auditorium as he applauded his brother’s achievements. 

 

Logan’s conductor gestured for the band to stand, and he did, clutching his horn tight to his stomach as he allowed the applause to wash over him. After a few very long, awkward minutes in which said applause would not stop, Logan was allowed off the stage, vanishing into the band room to break down his horn so he could go home. A hand dropped down to ruffle his hair, and he looked up to find Mika beaming down at him, oboe still fully assembled. 

 

“Amazing show, poppet. You were wonderful,” xe murmured, sitting down next to Logan and pulling out xyr oboe case. “That interval in October came out perfectly.” 

 

**_Yes, I am very pleased,_ ** Logan signed back, dropping his mouthpiece gently into its section of the case before placing his horn in its place. Mika delicately dropped xyr reed into xyr case before running a cloth through the oboe, beaming over at Logan. 

 

“So, Roman seemed to enjoy himself.” Logan froze, in the process of sliding his horn into its locker, and slowly turned to stare at Mika. Xe simply shrugged. “What? I’m in the front, I cannot help but see people also sitting in the front of the audience. I really could not possibly miss that large, silly grin of his.”

 

**_I… what?_ ** Mika frowned, tilting xyr head to the side.  **_Roman… actually enjoyed himself?_ **

 

“Yes, he appeared to. I was under the impression he enjoyed instrumental music?” Logan nodded slowly in confirmation. “Yes, he was smiling every time you came in.” 

 

Roman… actually cared about him? Roman cared about his interests and his skills and the things he enjoyed doing? Roman cared enough to sit through over an hour of music for him? These thoughts caused something warm to swirl in Logan’s stomach, bubbling up into his heart and throat and weaseling its way into his tear ducts. 

 

“Oh, no no no, Logan honey don’t cry!” Mika cried, gently grabbing Logan’s face in xyr hands and wiping at his cheeks. He was crying? Why was he crying? He had no reason to cry, he was happy after all. Roman cared about him. Roman wanted to be a good brother to him. Roman didn’t hate him. 

 

**_I can’t be crying, I’m happy Mika,_ ** Logan signed. Mika bit xyr lip and held up a sapphire-painted finger to show a droplet of salty facewater resting on it. 

 

“You can cry happy tears, Logan. Tears aren’t just for sadness.” Logan blinked, shakily bringing his hands up to his face, and when he pulled them away, lo and behold, tears stained his fingertips. He was crying. 

 

“It makes sense, to be quite frank. You’ve gone through quite a bit in the past few weeks. No wonder your body is reacting to strong emotions this way,” Mika explained, wiping off xyr fingers before pulling out a cloth and wiping Logan’s face. “Now, come on, your horn is away, my oboe is away, Wirt is standing near the door staring at us, let’s get up there and go eat far too many cookies to celebrate our achievements, yeah?” Logan nodded and stood up, smiling at Mika. 

 

**_Thank you so, so much for everything, Mika._ ** Mika snorted and swatted at Logan’s shoulder, steering him towards the doorway where Wirt was waiting, arms crossed uncomfortably over his chest.  **_My apologies for keeping you waiting, Wirt._ **

 

“No, Logan, it’s fine. You needed a moment,” Wirt softly stammered back. “Let’s… let’s go.” The three left the bandroom, the last ones to do so, and they walked out to the Commons to partake in cookies and punch and far too much socializing. Logan had barely set foot in the Commons when he was tackled, letting out a little yelp. He blinked a couple times, trying to regain his bearings, and realized that the person who had tackled him was Roman. 

 

“Lolo that was amazing! Dad was so happy during that first piece— nice choice on Nightmare Before Christmas, by the way— and that clarinet solo was so good— Wirt you better be going to music school that was amazing! And then that second piece? That horn part at the end was so emotional and perfect and you did it perfectly, Lo! Then the middle piece? I’m so sorry that sounded like it was hard on your face! But you did it so well, I got  _ chills _ ! Then Hymn To A Blue Hour was just… how do I say this? I was bawling, that’s how gorgeous it was! And then, then you ended with that gorgeous march and that… that was an  _ experience _ ! Logan, you did so well, you deserve so many more awards for that!” 

 

**_Roman, I was just playing my part. No need to get overexcited,_ ** Logan signed, confused and a tad bit scared of his brother at this exact moment in time. There… was really no reason for him to be so excited over Logan just doing his job. 

 

“I’m not overexcited, I’m showing how proud I am of you!” Roman shot back, grin still far too wide to be possible. How did his muscles move like that? Was that healthy? Was that normal? Logan was more concerned for his twin now after these questions popped into his mind. 

 

“Roman, maybe relax a bit. You’re overwhelming him,” Virgil drawled, stopping just behind Roman and shooting Logan a small grin. “Nice work, kiddo. I really liked that first piece, but all of them were amazing.” 

 

**_I figured you would like the first piece, Dad,_ ** Logan signed, grinning a bit. Virgil snorted and leaned over to ruffle Logan’s hair, freeing a few of his curls from their meticulously-placed gel. Logan batted the hands away, frantically trying to smooth his hair back into place. Mika and Wirt snorted and giggled behind him, and Logan shot them both glares, although they ignored him and kept laughing. Logan eventually gave in and joined them in laughter, just happy that the anxiety that had been constantly sitting on his chest seemed to be gone. 

 

Patton bounced over, beaming, holding a stack of cookies in his hands. “Nice job, kiddo! Amazing show! You’ve earned so many second cookies!” Logan carefully took a snickerdoodle and began to nibble on it, smiling faintly. Everything had turned out alright, just like Roman had promised. Logan couldn’t be happier in that moment.

* * *

 

Merely a week later, Logan sat in an uncomfortable chair in the auditorium, watching Roman bound around on stage in his professional make-believe that he loved so much and that Logan understood approximately nothing about. Patton and Virgil sat next to him, trying to explain what confused him, but Logan still had no idea. People found these over-the-top productions entertaining? This one was apparently called  _ Guys and Dolls  _ and featured some… very outdated ideas. Roman was the lead (from what Logan had been told), and his friend Clair was playing the main female lead (also from what he’d been told), but beyond that, Logan had absolutely no idea what was going on. The musical ended soon enough, much to Logan’s relief, and everyone filtered out into the Commons again to wait for the actors to come out. 

 

Roman bounced out after a few minutes, beaming and sweating a little but overall looking extremely happy. “Logan! My wonderful brother, did you enjoy that?” 

 

**_Not really, as I could not understand what was happening, even with assistance. I do think you did an amazing job, however,_ ** Logan answered, flushing a bit. Would Roman be mad that he did not enjoy himself? 

 

“Thanks, Lo! And I didn’t really expect you to, I’m just glad you showed up!” Logan swallowed and grinned back, relief swimming in his stomach at that. He did not wish to upset Roman, so the news that he had not was wonderful. 

 

**_Of course. I will always show up to support you._ ** Roman’s smile fell a little and he sighed, causing Logan to panic. Had he said something wrong?! 

 

“Like I should have.” Logan sighed and gently whacked Roman on the back of the head. Roman looks up, startled and confused, and Logan simply rolled his eyes before lightly smacking his nose. 

 

**_We have been over this. It is in the past. We can’t change the past, all we can do is try to move forward. Okay?_ ** Roman nodded, smile returning slightly, and Logan grinned back.  **_Now, explain that musical to me please? I would like to understand what was happening._ ** Roman’s eyes lit up and he launched into an impassioned speech about the plot of said musical as Logan followed him and their parents out to the car. It was always nice to see Roman acting like his usual passionate self, Logan thought as he settled in next to Roman who was still talking. Perhaps this attempt to fix their relationship was leading to good things after all.

* * *

 

“Logan! Can you help me with my math, I have no idea what’s going on!” Roman called, knocking frantically on Logan’s door. He sighed, pushing back from his desk, and got up, opening the door to find Roman shoving a worksheet on factoring into his face. Logan took a brief instant to recover before gently grabbing the worksheet and scanning over it. Simple enough. Why was Roman having issues?    
  
“The teacher can’t explain this worth shit,” Roman explained, seeing Logan’s confusion. Logan flipped the sheet over to see the notes side of it and winced. Yep, that explanation would do it. What was all this about division? That wasn’t how you factored polynomials! 

 

**_Come in, it’s time to fix the damage done by your teacher._ ** Roman entered, closing the door behind him, looking at Logan with pleading eyes. 

 

“Oh great Sage, please explain the heinous art of factoring to me,” Roman cried, dramatically swooning onto Logan’s bed. Logan rolled his eyes and ignored him, sitting down and pulling out a pencil. 

 

**_Now, to start, factoring is the art of simplifying polynomial expressions in order to more easily see their component parts. This will become useful later when it comes to simplifying polynomial expressions,_ ** Logan began, scribbling an example out on the paper.  **_This requires you to know your basic multiplication facts extremely well._ **

 

“Well, I’m doomed,” Roman moaned. Logan sighed and set down the paper. 

 

**_Then we shall start there. There are patterns to certain multiples, if you would like me to show you?_ ** Roman nodded, and Logan set to work showing Roman the math that should have been learned in second grade. 

 

A couple hours later, Roman finally understood what was going on. “Thank you so much, Logan! You’re a lifesaver, I swear.” Logan smiled and nodded. He was just being a good sibling. Why was Roman calling him a lifesaver for being a decent human being? 

 

“No, really. I suck at math, and you actually explain it in a way that helps me, you know, get it? It’s really amazing, Logan. Have you considered going into teaching?” Logan frowned, eyebrows furrowing. He had, at one point, but who would want a teacher who couldn’t even talk? 

 

**_But I can’t talk, Roman. I would be an awful teacher._ ** Roman sighed and rolled his eyes, gently slapping Logan on the back of the head in that friendly way siblings do. 

 

“And that’s something you can work around. Send out an email the school year before telling everyone to have their kids learn basic sign language. Teach at a school for the deaf. Just because you can’t talk, that doesn’t mean you automatically can’t teach. You’re a hell of an amazing teacher, so much better than a lot of the ones who can, and I will support you until the day I die, okay?” Logan began to cry and that, and Roman dropped his math homework with a heavy thud onto the floor as he rushed to comfort his brother. “No, don’t cry, I’m sorry-” 

 

**_Happy tears, Roman. Happy tears,_ ** Logan soothed, giggling a bit at Roman’s concern. It was… sweet, if a bit overbearing. Roman giggled back and pulled Logan into a tight hug, rubbing his back in calming circles like Patton used to do when they were younger. 

 

“You know that I meant every word of that, right?” Roman whispered, rocking Logan back and forth a bit. Logan nodded against his chest, hand slipping out of the hold to hover in Roman’s line of sight. 

 

**_I know, Roman. For the first time in a long time, I know._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In order, the pieces are: 
> 
> A Nightmare Before Christmas medley that I CANNOT find a recording of for the LIFE of me   
> October by Eric Whitacre (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EoUAbODO34)  
> Danse Macabre by Camille Saint-Saens (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWP0DWWoPhg) [this is the Tokyo Kosei recording and THEY ARE AMAZING HOLY SHIT AHHHHHHHH]  
> Hymn to a Blue Hour by John Mackey (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwBsTzKajvo) [my friend did the flute solo and he was SO NERVOUS but did SO WELL]   
> Marche Slave by Tchaikovsky (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99Gexc1k6mA) [again, Tokyo Kosei, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH]


	5. Who Knows? Only Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Make It Better, Remy and Roman are Adorable Gays, Logan and Dee are Adorable Gays, and The Children Have Learned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? I made it better :)

**Five Years Later**

 

“Roman, slow down, hon! He’s not going anywhere!” Remy called, walking at a normal pace ten steps behind his hurrying boyfriend. Roman turned around, stopped, and waited, bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

 

“But  _ Rem _ , I haven’t seen him in a year! I need to make sure he’s okay and that he hasn’t burnt himself out or anything!” Roman whined, tapping his foot impatiently. He really did just want to see his brother, was that such a crime? Logan had seemed to be doing okay when they had last talked, but a lot could have changed, he could have been lying, and Roman needed to be  _ sure  _ he was okay. 

 

“I know, love, but calm down, okay? You’ll scare him off if you charge in there right now.” Roman puffed out his cheeks but calmed down, allowing Remy to catch up and lace their fingers together. “Now, let’s walk like calm, normal, well-adjusted humans and we’ll find-”    
  


“You must be Roman,” a voice drawls, causing the two to jump and spin around to find a young man with vitiligo smiling at them. This was not a friendly smile, however: it was sharp and carefully constructed, meant to disarm and disguise. 

 

“Y-yes? Who are you?” Roman finally asked, eyeing the stranger suspiciously. Said stranger chuckled and stuck out a hand, the sleeve of his black and yellow sweater sliding up a bit. 

 

“I’m Dee, Logan’s boyfriend. He’s still in class right now, but he’ll be out in half an hour. Would you like to drop things off in Logan’s room?” Roman nodded, and Dee smirked before spinning around and marching off towards Logan’s dorm, both Remy and Roman hurrying to keep up. 

 

“So, Dee. How’d you and Logan meet?” Roman asked as they climbed the stairs. Logan hadn’t warned him about a boyfriend, and Roman shoved that pang of jealousy down into the Void That Shan’t Be Touched. 

 

“In band, actually. I play bassoon and we met at the band meet-and-greet party on the first day of school. We had about a year of just friendship, dancing around each other, and then we went to a party one night. I confessed— yes, we were both sober, don’t look at me like that— and then we started dating and we’ve been dating ever since,” Dee answered, smiling softly the whole time. They quickly reached Logan and Dee’s room, set their things down, and sat down to wait for Logan. Dee sat in the chair at one of the desks while Roman and Remy sat on the bed. 

 

“Ow, okay, hang on, I have to change the batteries quick,” Dee hissed suddenly, clutching at his ear. He popped out a hearing aid from each year and reached over into one of the desk drawers, pulling out a pack of batteries that he proceeded to swap out for the ones in the hearing aids. Roman kinda… stared, but averted his eyes the second he realized what was happening. Dee finished and put them back in, smiling grimly. 

 

“Now, any other questions?” Dee asked, slightly tenser than before. Remy shook his head, as did Roman, and Dee nodded before pulling out his phone. “Then make yourself at home, Logan will be here soon.” 

 

The door opened and closed, depositing a Logan into the room. He smiled, raised a hand, and signed  **_Actually, Dee, I am home now._ ** Dee lit up and hopped off the bed, yanking Logan into a deep, yet chaste, kiss. Logan pulled back after a few moments, beaming like a fool.  **_Did you miss me, love?_ **

 

“Yes, you dumb dumb,” Dee laughed, gently hitting Logan’s shoulder. “I always miss you and your cute face.” Logan flushed and squeaked before gently booping Dee’s nose, causing a giggle to break out from the yellow-clad man. Roman almost felt bad for having to break this up, but he really, really wanted to say hello to his brother. 

 

“Logan! How are you?” Roman called, jumping up and yanking Logan off his feet, twirling him around before crushing him into a hug. Logan startled before relaxing, realizing it was just his rambunctious twin, smiling at Roman before pulling back to answer. 

 

**_Perfectly acceptable, Roman. How are you?_ ** His eyes fix on Remy, and the grin drops slightly.  **_Is that Remy?_ **

 

“Yep! Logan, this is Remy, my wonderful boyfriend. Remy, this is Logan, my amazing twin brother!” Roman chirped, setting Logan down. Logan gulped and waved shyly at Remy, who waved enthusiastically back. Remy jumped up and grabbed Logan’s hand, shaking it enthusiastically. 

 

“Nice to meet you! Roman’s told me so much about you!” Remy started, large smile far too wide for Logan’s taste. “Especially about your academics. Double major and a double minor, hm?” 

 

**_Yes, majoring in Chemistry and Music Performance and minoring in Astronomy and Literature. What is your major, again?_ ** Logan didn’t trust this stranger with his pristine leather jacket and indoor sunglasses and Cheshire-cat grin. This stranger who was too similar to his brother yet far too different. This stranger with the perfect hair and the perfect teeth and the perfect face, perfect for Roman in every way, and that scared Logan, thinking back to freshman year and Roman’s perfect friends. Was this about to start again? Was Logan going to be left behind yet again? 

 

“Oh, I’m a theatre major,” Remy answered, smiling. He let go of Logan’s hand finally, allowing Logan to flex his wrist and step back to a comfortable distance. Remy seemed not to notice, but Roman did, eyes widening in worry. He’d forgotten to warn Remy that Logan hated handshakes. He’d already fucked this up, hadn’t he? 

 

“Hey, Dee. Why don’t you show Remy around campus? I’d like to catch up with Logan. Alone,” Roman suggested, shooting Dee a look he hoped conveyed his thoughts. Apparently, he was correct, as Dee grabbed Remy’s arm and dragged him out of the room, leaving the twins alone for the first time in months. 

 

**_I’m sorry, Roman, you didn’t have to send Remy away,_ ** Logan signed, hunching his shoulders slightly. Roman sighed and reached out to ruffle Logan’s hair, eyes burning with love and sympathy. 

  
  


“Hey. I forgot to warn you I was bringing him, and I know he’s a lot if you’re not used to him. That’s on me, Logan. Don’t blame yourself for getting overwhelmed.” 

 

**_I just felt like you were going to leave me again._ ** Roman’s eyes widened, horrified, and Logan quickly moved to explain himself further.  **_Remy is perfect for you in every way. And I… am a bit scared, that we are about to right back to freshman year._ ** Roman blinked in shock before relaxing, gently grabbing Logan’s shoulders. 

 

“Lo. No. It’s not going to be freshman year. I won’t let it. I’m not abandoning you for Remy. In fact, Remy really wants to meet you and is really scared of screwing up. Okay?” Logan nodded, and Roman smiled softly. “Good. Now. I gotcha something.” 

 

**_Oh? Should I be scared?_ **

 

“Not at all! You’ll like it. I made it myself.” Roman walked over and began to dig through his suitcase before making a triumphant noise as he pulled out… 

 

**_Roman? Is that… a Fourth Doctor scarf?_ ** Excitement bubbled in Logan’s stomach as he saw the familiar stripe pattern. Roman nodded, beaming, and gently wound the scarf around Logan’s neck. 

 

“Yep! I made it myself. I thought you’d like it. I know Four isn’t your favourite, but I couldn’t figure out how to make a trench coat with so many pockets,” Roman babbled. Logan smiled and buried his face in the scarf, pulling Roman into a tight hug. 

 

**_Thank you thank you thank you,_ ** Logan signed. Roman giggled and hugged back, dropping a kiss into Logan’s hair. 

 

“Of course, bro. Anything for you.”

* * *

 

“Logan! You’re out of your room!” Mika’s voice came from behind him before a long-fingered hand dropped into Logan’s hair. Roman blinked, startled at the appearance of the nerd, but Logan just smiled and swatted Mika’s hand away playfully. 

 

**_I leave my room more than you think,_ ** Logan shot back, glaring. Dee and Mika both laughed, sitting on either side of Logan, and the three fell into a clearly-easy pattern of signing, giggling, and friendly touches. Roman looked over at Remy, lost and confused. He had known that Logan had friends, but he did not realize how different their method of communication would be from his. 

 

“Hey guys. Hey Roman. Hello new person,” Wirt called, sitting next to Roman across from Mika. He quickly joined in the conversation, leaving Roman and Remy still left out. 

 

“Roman, should we leave?” Remy murmured. Roman was about to reply when something in the air froze. He turned to look and found the four other people starting at him, eyes ranging from judging to terrified. Roman swallowed and looked at Logan as he answered. 

 

“No, we’re staying. They were just catching up,” Roman answered, nodding slightly. Logan relaxed and smiled, hands lifting in preparation.

 

**_Yes, Roman, that’s exactly what we were doing. Now, shall we chat?_ ** Dee nodded, Roman smiled, and Remy seemed to relax a bit. 

 

“So, Roman. Remy. How long are you planning on staying?” Wirt asked, nibbling on a spring roll. 

 

“Just a couple days. Want to meet my boyfriend’s brother,” Remy answers, sipping his coffee. Roman smiled and smooched Remy on the cheek, not noticing how the other four shot looks at each other. Dee cleared his throat and leaned forward, tapping the table. 

 

“Well, Remy, you can ask Logan questions now,” Dee drawled, eyes flashing in challenge. Roman was highly confused as to why, though. Remy hadn’t done anything, so why was Dee looking so defensive? 

 

“Is it true that you made Roman listen to all your poetry presentations?” Remy asked, giggling a bit. Roman’s blood froze as his stomach dropped and his mind began to scream at him. He never should have said that that one time when he was drunk. He knew Remy would most likely not realize why it was important and take it as complaining. It hadn’t been that bad, really, as Logan was amazing with making presentations engaging yet informative. Drunk Roman was just very bad at making his thoughts clear. 

 

Logan wasn’t faring much better, eyes wide and breathing choppy, quick, and uneven. Wirt was trying to offer comfort across the table, Dee has signing soothing words at him, and Mika looked to be about five seconds from murdering Remy. “That. Was so fucking rude. Especially because you have no idea the context,” Mika hissed, fist tightening around xyr knife. Remy startled and leaned back as the tall Brit stood, towering over him like an angry slasher villain in those movies Logan liked to watch sometimes. 

 

“You know why? Logan just wanted Roman to spend time with him, and that was the best way to do it at first!” Dee hissed, shooting Remy a glare while his hands kept moving. 

 

“Roman didn’t mind, you know. He was perfectly fine with Logan giving presentations to him,” Wirt mumbled, fidgeting in his seat. Logan nodded, sniffing, and Roman had to actually fight the urge to lunge across the table and comfort him. Remy paled, seeming to realize just what he had said, and reached forward, eyes widening in horror. 

 

“Oh, Logan, no, I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” Remy stammered, gently grabbing Logan’s hand. Logan yanked it away, and hurt flashed across Remy’s eyes. 

 

“Logan doesn’t like people holding his hands if he needs to communicate,” Roman explained, his own hands raising.  **_You good, L?_ ** he asked. Logan sniffed, nodded, wiped at his eyes, and began to answer. 

 

**_I am adequate, Roman, thank you. I was merely not prepared to have such an emotional conversation today._ ** Roman nodded, still skeptical, and Logan gave a short, watery laugh and kept going.  **_Really, Roman, I shall be fine. My thanks for your concern._ **

 

“Of course, Logan,” Roman answered, smiling softly. Still his same brother, then. Dee noticed the smiled and finally allowed all the tension to leak out of his shoulders. 

 

“Well, this was… nice. But Logan and I have classes to get to,” Dee announced, smoothly standing and reaching out a hand for Logan to grab. He rolled his eyes but took it, standing and bumping his hip against Dee’s. 

 

“Wirt and I also have classes. Perhaps you and Remy could explore campus?” Mika suggested, standing and placing xyr dishes to be washed on the rack. Wirt followed, shoving the rest of his spring roll in his mouth, and with nary a glance back, the four walked out, leaving Roman and Remy alone. 

 

“... so we should most likely have a talk, yes?” Remy asked, sipping his coffee. Roman nodded and sipped his own tea, settling in for a long explanation. 

 

“Logan and I were extremely close as kids. When we hit high school, though, we started to… drift. I spent far more time with my friends than with Logan, and his only two friends both were extremely busy and had other things to do. I didn’t think anything was wrong— Logan likes his alone time, still— until our parents suggested I talk to him about his recent depression. I did, and I found out it was because I was practically ignoring him in favour of my friends. The two of us both promised to try and work on communication,” Roman explained, falling quiet at the end. 

 

“That’s great, Roman. I’m glad you figured it out. But why did they all react so violently to my question?” Remy asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion. Roman swallowed. 

 

“I wasn’t done, Rem. So… it got better for a bit… and then I fucked up. It was the day I was supposed to help Logan with an important project, and I didn’t show up. I forgot, and went to lunch with my friends, I didn’t even check in with Logan. He went into a panic attack, and his friend Mika— the tall angry British one— literally marched into the cafeteria, chewed me out, and made me skip fifth hour so we could chat.”    
  


“What the hell, that was an accident! It wasn’t your fault!” Remy cried. Roman sighed and gently grabbed one of Remy’s hands, squeezing lightly. 

 

“Love, it’s alright. We were stupid kids, and it actually helped. Let me finish, please.” Remy nodded and fell silent, and with that, Roman took in a deep breath, preparing himself to tell this story’s conclusion. 

 

“So, I talked to Logan that night. We both cried a lot, we got all our issues out on the table, and we eventually decided that communication was the most important. So, we started to actually legit communicate. And to start… it started with poetry presentations, and then it went to history, then it just became a lunch study session. That lasted for all of high school, I started giving Logan my presentations as well, and then… then we both went off to college. It’s a tradition, still, when we have large presentations due. It soothes us both, and a critical eye is important. So… giving each other presentations is just our way of showing that we care. It’s a way to say ‘hey, bro, I’m still alive’ and ‘I value your input, please tell me how trashy this is’. So, by kind of… turning that into a joke, Logan started panicking. I’m not mad, but… that’s why Logan reacted that way, Remy.” 

 

Remy paled. “Oh, Roman, I… I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” 

 

“You’re fine, sweetheart. Just apologize to Logan at some point, okay?” Roman smiled softly and stood, tossing his empty cup away. “Now, I kind of want to go exploring. Come with me?” Remy tossed his empty coffee cup away, stood up, took Roman’s hand, and together, the two of them bounced outside, intent on enjoying the beautiful sights and the fresh air. The aura of darkness was dispelled, just for a moment, and the two lovers took a few hours to themselves to enjoy nature before reality inevitably came crashing back.

* * *

 

“Logan? Would you like to come with me for a coffee run? I think it would be fun,” Remy suggested. Logan blinked and lifted a hand. 

 

**_We cannot communicate, though, as you do not know sign language,_ ** Logan pointed out. 

 

“... what?” Remy asked, confused. Logan nodded, as if to say  _ Exactly _ , and went back to his book. Remy huffed, cheeks puffing out in frustration. He just wanted to get this solved, why was it so hard? 

 

“Perhaps,” Dee murmured. “You, Roman, Logan, and I could have a conversation.” Remy startled, whipping around to stare at the short bassoon player, who was smirking up at him almost like he enjoyed causing Remy to almost have a heart attack. 

 

“That’s a wonderful idea! As such, Wirt and I shall leave,” Mika answered, and promptly grabbed the small poet’s arm and dragged him out, kicking the door shut behind them. Logan looked up, now concerned, and Roman settled down next to him, laying a head on his shoulder. 

 

“I’ll start. Remy, you hurt Logan earlier,” Dee droned. Remy nodded, expecting that reaction. 

 

“I was going to apologize. So…” he turned to Logan. “Logan, I’m very sorry. I didn’t know the whole story, and I made a joke without thinking how it would affect you. I hope you don’t hate me.” 

 

**_I don’t hate you,_ ** Logan replied, Roman translating for Remy’s sake.  **_You made a mistake._ **

 

“Okay, that’s good,” Remy breathed out. “Dee, anything else?” 

 

“Not right now,” Dee replied, bringing his knees into his chest. Remy nodded, but Roman cleared his throat. 

 

“I have something to ask. Dee? Why are you so defensive?” Dee looked up, blinking in shock, before glancing over at Logan. Logan nodded, Dee nodded back, and let out a sigh before beginning. 

 

“Logan had a rough time our freshman year, and I had to deal with his douchey boyfriend. Logan did break up with him after he made fun of Logan’s attachment to you, Roman, but… it kind of left me really overprotective.” 

 

**_And I’ve told you, love, it’s fine, as long as it isn’t possessive,_ ** Logan shot back, eyebrows furrowed. Dee sighed again and signed back  **_I’m aware_ ** before continuing. 

 

“I just don’t want him hurt, Roman. That’s why.” Roman nodded, hugged Logan closer to him, and shot Dee a thumbs-up. Dee smiled at that, recognizing the sign for what it was: Roman’s approval over his brother’s choice of boyfriend. 

 

**_Now, can we put this behind us and move on?_ ** Logan signed, a distinctly sarcastic bent to his gestures. Dee giggled and blew him a kiss, while Roman just laughed and ruffled Logan’s hair, freeing his curls from their gel. Logan squawked and swatted Roman’s hand away, causing the taller twin to giggle and poke Logan’s ribs. Logan eeped, and an evil grin crossed Roman’s face at that. 

 

“Tickle fight!” Roman cried, flinging himself atop Logan and attacking his ribcage with light touches and moving fingers. Logan shrieked and gently kicked back, to no avail. 

 

**_Dee, help me!_ ** Logan signed, laughing, tears streaming down his cheeks from the force of his joyful laughter. Dee smirked and leaped onto Roman with a warcry, poking the actor in the ribs. Roman yelped and Dee went to work, prying him off of his boyfriend. 

 

“Remy! Avenge me!” Roman yelled. Remy snorted and poked Dee’s ribs, causing the shortest one to let out a squeak. Remy pounced, tickling him into submission, but didn’t notice Logan sneaking up behind him until he was rolling around shrieking with laughter as the bespectacled nerd attacked him with affection. The four of them eventually ended up in a pile, all panting heavily from the previous activity, joy oozing out of them to fill the room with mirth. 

 

“So. That was nice,” Dee panted out. “Who wants to calm down and watch Netflix?” 

 

“Heathers!” Roman called, sitting upright with a giant, sunny grin on his face. Remy slapped him lightly, groaning. 

 

“No, we’re watching Umbrella Academy, you dumbass. I’ve seen Heathers far too many times, if I have to see it one more time I will scream,” Remy groaned. Dee snorted. 

 

“Oh, you would like it more. I vote Dragon Prince,” Dee called. Logan snorted and raised a hand above the pile. 

 

**_I suggest Sherlock,_ ** he offered. 

 

“How about we just watch Hilda and leave it at that?” Dee shot back, pulling out his laptop. Logan agreed, Roman nodded, and Remy cocked his head in confusion. 

 

“Hilda? What’s Hilda?” Remy asked. Dee and Logan’s jaws both dropped, and Remy felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. This wasn’t going to end well, was it? 

 

“It’s only the cutest cartoon  _ ever _ !” Dee shrieked, yeeting blankets atop Remy as he typed furiously on his laptop. Logan shoved Remy onto the bed before sitting next to him, keeping him from running. 

 

**_It’s amazing, and we’re watching it,_ ** Logan signed, eyes burning with determination. Remy gulped, and suddenly Roman was on his lap, giggling. 

 

“Come on, love, it won’t be that bad! It’s a really sweet show!” Roman chirped, leaning back into Remy’s chest. Remy sighed and hugged Roman closer as Dee started the show, happy he wasn’t hated but still a tad uncomfortable. 

 

**_Also, Alfur the elf is my new favourite thing and I want one._ ** Dee and Roman both snorted in unison and answered “You would,” together, voices a mix of fond exasperation and good-natured humour. Remy laughed and settled back, relaxing for once, as the four of them fell into a perfect quiet, only piping up with commentary or fanboy squealing, especially Logan when a tiny white being appeared for the first time. 

 

**_Dee I want him._ ** “I know Logan.”  **_Dee he is me._ ** “I know Logan.”  **_Dee I need to learn how to sew to make one._ ** “There goes my Christmas present.”  **_What?_ ** “Nothing, just watch the show love.”  **_I’m suspicious._ ** “Good.” 

 

“You know, Roman, you’re basically Hilda here.” “Shut up, Dee, I’m clearly the Raven, excuse you.” “Nah, you’re a sweetheart who’s too dramatic for his own good, you’re Hilda.” “Dee I will fight you.” 

 

“This is actually really good.” “I know, right?!” “Roman, careful, you almost hit Logan in the face.”  **_That is far from the first time, I assure you._ ** “What?!”  **_Relax Dee, it’s fi- Dee don’t hit him!_ ** “I must defend your honour!”  **_This isn’t Merlin, Dee, calm down._ **

 

The four of them eventually fell asleep in a large cuddle pile, happy and content with the previous few hours. Remy had finally managed to worm his way into Logan’s heart, Dee had stopped worrying about Logan getting hurt by his brother, and the twins had slipped very easily back into their old patterns. In short, all was right with the world, just as it had been five years ago when two boys had embraced after a final concert, happy tears flowing from their eyes. Now, instead of happy tears, happy laughs had permeated the air, showing that no matter what, everything would be perfectly okay for these two and their loved ones. After all, they had far too many people who cared to let them be sad.

* * *

 

_ Bonus Scene _

 

“Roman! Kiddo, can you put the star on the tree?” 

 

“Sure thing, Papa! Just let me… There! It’s perfect!” 

 

“Thank you so much! You got so tall! Why, I remember like it was only yesterday, and you were about as tall as my waist-” 

 

“Papaaaaaa don’t embarrass me in front of my boyfriend!” 

 

**_That’s not very hard to do, Roman._ **

 

“Logan! Don’t be mean to your brother!” 

 

“Logan, you’ve betrayed me! However shall I recover?!” 

 

**_Not my fault your ego is so fragile._ **

 

“That’s it! I’m leaving! I am clearly unwanted!” 

 

“No, Roman! I love you, kiddo, please stay!” Roman giggled and looked back at his father, blue eyes wide and pleading. Behind him, Logan giggled, eyes sparkling with mirth. Roman smirked and turned around. 

 

“Oh alright, Papa. Only because I want to see Logan’s face when I steal all his presents!” Logan gasped, placing a hand to his heart dramatically. 

 

**_You wouldn’t!_ ** “I would!” Roman crowed back. Logan pretended to swoon onto the couch, causing Roman to giggle even more, unaware of the three in the background filming this whole thing. 

 

**_You fiend! However shall I recover?!_ ** The effect was ruined by Logan’s laughter and wide smile. Roman giggled and plopped down next to him while Patton still stood there, confused but starting to smile at the contagiously happy atmosphere. 

 

“You just have to surrender to my perfection~!” Roman cooed. Logan rolled his eyes and gently, playfully, shoved Roman away, standing smoothly and walking over to the tree, picking up a giant box. 

 

**_This goes to Remy, then. He hasn’t betrayed me._ **

 

“No, Logan! I’m sorry!” Roman cried, bursting into laughter at the end. Logan joined him, keeping the box in his arms before turning to leave the room. 

 

“No, Logan! I’ll do anything, I promise!” Roman cried. Logan smirked, turned back around, looked Roman dead in the eyes, and raised a hand, signing two words. 

 

**_Then perish._ ** With that, he walked out, listening to Roman’s overdramatic howls and cackling to himself. He ran into Dee, who was also cackling and holding up his phone, showing… 

 

**_Dee. Did you record all of that?_ ** Logan asked, eyes narrowing. Dee nodded, giggling.  **_You have five seconds to hand it over._ **

 

“Make me~!” Dee chirped before sprinting away. Logan gently set Roman’s present on the table, cracked his knuckles, and began to chase his fiance, grabbing Roman on the way. Roman took this whole situation in stride, and eventually, the two caught up to the little snake, trying to wrestle his phone away. It was too late, however, for the video had already been uploaded to Instagram. Neither of them could be truly angry, and there the three of them stayed for the next hour, simply giggling and hugging, the holiday spirit infecting them with far too much cheer. And if Dee snuck a couple more pictures while the twins weren’t looking? Well, he certainly wasn’t going to tell. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave your thoughts, if you want. We shall return to regularly scheduled angst soon enough :) 
> 
> ~Logan

**Author's Note:**

> Oh, buckle up kiddos


End file.
